Spread Thin

I don't even want to look at the last time I wrote here, it was probably last month. Ugh! Sometimes I wish I had the power to freeze time so I could get everything done that I need to during the day and still have time for the things I want to do. I'm sure this is a problem that everyone can relate to, but it is one that has currently taken over my life.

When I used to go on interviews I would brag about my organization and time management skills. HA! I hope those people never catch a glimpse inside my house. I wish I could run my household like I used to run a classroom. Time management- that's a thing of the past with this little guy in my life!


I feel so all over the place lately, and this post will probably mirror that too.

These days seem to speed by and when I lay down at night, I always try to figure out what exactly I accomplished for that day. Usually its nothing. I'm a huge list person, and I love the satisfaction of crossing finished things off. However, lately it seems that more and more lists keep popping up around the house with only a measly line or two through them. So to summarize, nothing is getting done!

This school year, I am staying home with Anthony. Paying for daycare did not equal the pay I would have gotten as a substitute, and I wasn't offered anything more than that. But, guess what? No complaints on this end! I have always wanted to be a stay at home mama until my kid(s) go to school. This year, I get to try it out! Financially, we need to save up if we want to move to a bigger house in the next few years. So, that means I can't simply stay home and enjoy every second with my son. I have to contribute too, and that's fine! I actually like bringing in my own money. I am babysitting, with Anthony, three days a week, and then hopefully subbing the other two days.

With that being said, things have been a little  very hectic around the Mango house. We are trying to get into a new routine and so far it has been a big adjustment for everyone. We have so much going on: all of Anthony's therapies have been moved around, doctors visits are piling up with the time of year, my  physical therapy, Joe's two jobs (and him getting a new LTS Counseling position!! Yay Joe!!), making time for family, starting a Teachers Pay Teachers store, writing, Beautiful Beginnings, getting things together for the Buddy Walk.... and the list goes on.

I wish I could give 100% to everything I have on my plate right now, but I am finding that I am not a superhero, nor an octopus, and cannot set such high expectations for myself in one day. I am stretched sooooo thin with everything going on and I probably need to focus on a few main things instead of a million.

For example: I wanted to stay involved with teaching so I created a Teachers Pay Teachers store, and I am obsessed! I can't seem to get enough but it is so time consuming to learn the in's and out's of TpT! I only have a handful of products up for sale, but my mind is always running with new ideas. I want to post them all, and I want to do it very quickly! I read about these great success stories of teachers selling lessons, and clip art, through TpT and making good money, very good money! So far, I have only had three sales, which is pretty typical but it is driving me nuts. It makes me want to put out more and more products and find time to fine-tune my craft. The problem with that is... time. I don't have it! And that is exactly why this blog has been put to the bottom of the list so many times. So many things have happened and I have mentally stored those times in my "to blog about" section, but it is overflowing currently since I haven't written in forever.

-shameless plug: If you're a teacher, or know a teacher, check out/pass on my TpT store link! It may be helpful to you! Click here. Don't forget to follow me on there too!

Since I have been rambling on, I am going to try to summarize everything that has happened since I last blogged in a list:

1.Ladies and Gentlemen, Anthony Joseph cut his first tooth!! It is probably the sharpest thing ever, but it is adorable! Right in the middle on the bottom. He is still teething like crazy so I am hoping that more pop up soon!

2. Anthony is an even more advanced walker! He can now walk just by holding one of our hands! That is a lot of core strength! So proud of my bubby! Watch the video of him walking by clicking here. 

3. We have a new best friend situation in our house: Our cat Marshall and Anthony! The word "gentle" is not in Anthony's vocabulary yet, and so it is very surprising that this cat just can't get enough of Anthony's tough love! It is so cute to watch them together. I mean, honestly, look at them together.. so stinkin' cute:

4. Anthony is doing so well with eating. I know that I am the reason he has not advanced in eating as quickly as he should have. Well, me and his aspiration... but mostly me! I have a huge huge phobia of choking, and it scares the crap out of me when he doesn't chew something and just swallows right away. So, I've been getting better and the pieces have been getting bigger because I need to trust that he will know what to do. He has been doing a fantastic job, and I must pat myself on the back and say I have too, ha! 

5. We went on that mini-family vacation to OCNJ and it was perfect! Pictures to come at the end of this blog. 

6. Anthony passed his hearing test with flying colors!

7. Anthony had blood work done to test for lead levels, hemoglobin and thyroid- and he passed all of that too! I have to add that we were so nervous to bring him to get 3 vials of blood taken. The last time he put up a huge fight, and he was only a little dude! To our surprise, he was amazing with a capital A! He didn't flinch once. Such a big boy. Joe and I had prepped all of the nurses saying sorry in advance for everything we thought he would do. We walked out of there stunned looking at each other saying "what in the heck just happened?!" It was great. 

8. We went to the Delaware County Down Syndrome Interest Group's annual summer picnic and it was such a fun time! We met a lot of new families and kiddos too! Can't wait to watch them all grow up together. 

9. We have welcomed 5 babies with Down syndrome into the world so far with Beautiful Beginnings! It is all worth it to make these families happy! If you haven't already, like the Beautiful Beginning's Facebook page to follow everything that is going on with that aspect of my life. Click here. 

10. Anthony has just been so much fun lately. I can't pin-point anything specific that has changed, but I feel like he understands us so much more now. That makes play time so much more fun too! We just crack up at each other most of the day and I love it! He also started using the first volume of the Signing Time video, and he is obsessed. He is such a great observer and soaks it all in. I can't wait to see if he benefits from it soon!

As promised, here are the ton of pictures from our beach trip:

"Oh hey Mom, is that you there?"

Walking to the water with daddy

Sand in the mouth, again. It must be a right of passage for babies...

Can't get enough of that face!

Wild man! 

"Mom, I'll take it from here, let me have the camera!"

"Hmmph, I never get what I want"

Walkin' the boards

My guys! 

Always on the move!

One of my favorite new family photos!

Not very impressed with the swing.

But Daddy makes everything funny!

yay for a pool day!

AH I LOVE THE BEACH SO MUCH I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW!

Boys will be boys

My love!

And now for the professional pictures taken by Monica Jones! She always does a fantastic job, even with a cranky baby at his bed time! We love them.

I love my family!


Hope you enjoyed this extra long post! 

Be the voice!

Tonight I had planned on putting up the pictures from our little family vacation last week to OCNJ. But, that will have to wait, because there has been a change of plans. Tonight, I need to write because I have way too much on my mind to even think about anything else.

Without getting too specific and naming anyone in particular, a very sad story was brought to my attention tonight. I was playing puppets with Anthony in his playroom before his bedtime, when I received a text. The text message stopped me in my tracks, and as my eyes grew heavy with tears I struggled to catch my breath. Someone that I know, knows someone who knows someone (ha, stay with me here!) who recently found out they were expecting a child with Down syndrome.

In the world I have been living in lately, that would have been the end of the sentence. Maybe it would have even been followed with a "wahoo, isn't that great?!" Honestly, everyone I have come in contact with lately has had such a positive attitude about Down syndrome. From the people I surround myself with, to the families I deliver Beautiful Beginnings baskets to for welcoming a new baby with DS into the world. It has all been so easy, such a dream. Everyone is happy and excited about these beautiful children.

Sadly, that wasn't the end of that text message.

"and she is terminating."

Boom. Reality smacked me in the face.

That statistic that I have talked about before: 90% of mothers who find out they are pregnant with a baby that has Down syndrome will abort, it came to life tonight.

It's not just a number, its real. 90% of these babies are not getting a chance at life because they have an extra chromosome.

I feel physically sick, like I was punched right in the gut tonight. It's something I just can't seem to wrap my head around. Why would this poor baby, this sweet child that only wants to be loved like any other baby, not be granted a chance at life?

It's sad to me that not everyone knows how amazing these children are. Not everyone is educated on the current information about Down syndrome. Most families that get the testing done are fed negative after negative information about Down syndrome. They are told just how horrible their lives are going to be, how challenging it is, how much can go medically wrong, how their child will not amount to anything great. Lies, lies, lies.

Yes, there is some truth that not everyone has an easy road medically with Down syndrome, there are some hurdles and some tough days. But, you take them as they come, and continue on with your life. Think about it.. everyone is fighting a battle of their own, no one has it easy! So, how is it fair that these parents are told a laundry list of things that MIGHT medically happen to their child, when that isn't the same for every other expecting parent? Other parents are not sat down and told "well your son could some day need glasses, he may get sick, he may break his leg, he may have a hard time in school, he could not be good at sports...." And why are they not told that? ...Because it is just ridiculous! Yes these things may happen in life, but they may not, and even if they do it wont matter because you will still love your child unconditionally. So, why is this okay when parents are given a diagnosis of Down syndrome? These scared and vulnerable parents are brainwashed into thinking the beautiful baby they created is less than perfect and not deserving of life.

My mind is racing, going in one million and five different directions at once. I'm heart broken, and frustrated at the same time. How can this be real? How can someone not want a baby like my sweet, perfect son?

All I know is that I lost it. I have not cried that hard in a very long time. I just hugged Anthony and told him over and over again how perfect he is.

The thing that really gets me is that I couldn't do anything to save this baby. 90% of these babies don't have a voice, but they deserve one. We all need to be that voice.

I feel as if I am more motivated than ever to go out and change the way the world views Down syndrome. I want to educate nurses, families, hospitals.. everyone... on just how WONDERFUL life can be with a baby that has Down syndrome. I couldn't imagine life without Anthony, he makes me smile every single day. It pains me that this mother will not experience the same happiness that I feel because of my son.

While I can not change what has already happened before, I hope that I can impact in some small way what will happen in the future. Even if I change the mind of just one family, if I save even just one baby it will have been worth the battle.

Please help me to lower this disgusting statistic. Share this blog, and hopefully we might just reach someone who needs it.

I decided to put up one beach picture of my handsome boy! It was such an emotional post that I needed a little happiness from my bubby!

Proud Mama Moment

It's crazy to think about how fast time goes. Someone said to me today "the years fly by but the days drag on". I couldn't agree more. And, frankly, I am glad that the days drag on because I don't want to rush away these precious moments with a little boy that is becoming less and less dependent on me each day. 

Today, Christa and Antonella came over to put the final touches on three more baskets for Beautiful Beginnings. We wanted to get them done to send out to hospitals this week. When she left, the craziest thing happened. My phone rang, and it was my contact from Crozer telling me that a baby was just born and they needed a basket. I mean, honestly, could the timing have been any more perfect? We had just finished three! She then told me about the family- and that's when I just lost it. I was listening while silent tears came rushing.

The family just gave birth to a little boy, and he is in the NICU. Hearing that just brought me right back. It was only just last year, one week ago today, that my son was born at that same hospital and stayed two weeks in the same NICU. My heart hurt for the family because I remember the pain. The helplessness you feel as a parent when there is nothing you can do.

When I got off the phone I hugged Anthony so hard. He had no idea what was going on but he hugged me back. I can't wait to bring this new family their basket from Beautiful Beginnings tomorrow. I want to tell them just how much can change in a year. My whole world was shaken up last year... and even though I can't pin down the exact moment when everything took a turn for the better, it somehow did-right before our eyes. Everything became okay, actually.. much more than okay.

The way I look at it, this family is going to bring me the most amazing closure to a chapter that started our story. A chapter that will no longer define the rest of what comes. I will be able to pay it forward and bring this family the happiness and joy I wish someone had given me during those dark days. Hopefully it will help in some small way, I think it would have helped me.

_____________________________________

Tonight, because of that phone call earlier, I was extra emotional and couldn't help but to cry again when I was reading Anthony his bedtime books.

Every day, and especially every night during story time before bed, I practice the "more" sign with Anthony. He has been getting super frustrated lately that he can't communicate what he wants. He "hulks-out" and makes little baby fists that shoot behind him while he puffs out his chest and yells. I really want to help him express what he wants in a way that we can understand, so our therapists told us to try the "more" sign. It's an easy sign, you close your hands so that all of your fingers touch and tap the points of your fingers together a few times while saying "more".

I have been practicing this sign with Anthony so much lately, and whenever I do it he just watches. He watches as I do the sign myself, and then bring his hands together to do it too. He is such a good observer, and I know he is just soaking it all in. I know that because tonight it finally clicked- and we were able to communicate! It was so beautiful that it brought me to tears.

I was trying to feed him his bottle when he grabbed my fingers and scooted down my legs. Then he started marching towards his reading nook in his room. This little boy LOVES reading! He plopped himself down in front of his book bins and yelled at me to take out his few favorites. He sat on my lap as I read him the first one and when it was finished I signed "all done book". I waited, because this is usually when he would throw his fit by kicking and yelling to read it again. But tonight, he didn't yell, instead he grabbed my hands and brought them together to say "more". This continued after each book we read , and each time I cried. I let him read way more books than usual tonight because I wanted to see it over and over again. It was amazing!

He is so smart, and he makes me proud to be his mom every day!

I love being his Mom, his teacher, and his best friend-I hope that last one never changes :)

One - part 2

Date: 7/25/2014

Age: 12 Months

Weight: 21 lbs   0 oz

Height:   30 inches

Head Circ.:  43.81  cm

Eating: His feeding schedule is slowly changing- he is trying new food; eggs, granola bar, oatmeal. He is still drinking formula and eating baby food puree every two hours.

Sleep: He starts his night-time feeding around 7:00-8:00 pm, and goes to bed right after that. He usually wakes up around 5:30-6:00 am. 

Likes: Disney Junior, laughing, reading books, playing with new toys, going on walks, giving hugs and kisses, sand and water

Dislikes: When we sign “all-done”, being alone, when we pretend to sleep, strangers, teething again

Milestones: pulling from sit to stand, putting items in containers and taking them out, starting to self feed with puffs (We’re almost at a full puff)

I also promised to put up Anthony's first birthday party pictures! We planned a Sesame Street themed party, and I went a little Pinterest crazy! Thankfully, my family fully supports my desire to have everything over-the-top and creative, and they joined in to make a very magical first birthday for my son. My amazing husband, Mom, Dad and sister personally went above and beyond with anything I asked them to do for the party (and I didn't expect anything less!) They spent countless hours working on painting and putting things together for this party so it would look just like I showed them on Pinterest. I also want to thank the people that made the delicious food for the party and those who came early to help set up and stayed later to help clean up- it did wonders for my stress level!! Luckily the party was at my Mom's house and she took on a lot of the responsibility of getting things set up, so when it came to a cranky baby I could worry about him and not have to worry about the party too.

All-in-all it was an awesome party! Too bad he won't remember any of it, but that's what he has me for- the documenter :).  I must say that I thought I would have taken a ton more pictures and videos of the day than I actually did. . . I guess that is a good sign-the party was so much fun that I forgot to take the time to snap a billion pictures.

But, don't worry.. I still did take a bunch- just not a billion.

I may have left out the small detail that there were over 100 people at his birthday- quite the celebration indeed!

So handsome!

Play time for the lovebirds 

Woah, woah who is this? The Elmo I know is a few inches tall and I can throw him around....

Happy Birthday little man!

Hmm this is new! 

It's your party you can cry if you want to! I would cry too if I had over 100 people watching me eat! 

All partied out 

It took us two sittings to open all of these gifts! Such a spoiled little boy.