Thursday, July 31, 2014

Proud Mama Moment

It's crazy to think about how fast time goes. Someone said to me today "the years fly by but the days drag on". I couldn't agree more. And, frankly, I am glad that the days drag on because I don't want to rush away these precious moments with a little boy that is becoming less and less dependent on me each day. 

Today, Christa and Antonella came over to put the final touches on three more baskets for Beautiful Beginnings. We wanted to get them done to send out to hospitals this week. When she left, the craziest thing happened. My phone rang, and it was my contact from Crozer telling me that a baby was just born and they needed a basket. I mean, honestly, could the timing have been any more perfect? We had just finished three! She then told me about the family- and that's when I just lost it. I was listening while silent tears came rushing.

The family just gave birth to a little boy, and he is in the NICU. Hearing that just brought me right back. It was only just last year, one week ago today, that my son was born at that same hospital and stayed two weeks in the same NICU. My heart hurt for the family because I remember the pain. The helplessness you feel as a parent when there is nothing you can do.

When I got off the phone I hugged Anthony so hard. He had no idea what was going on but he hugged me back. I can't wait to bring this new family their basket from Beautiful Beginnings tomorrow. I want to tell them just how much can change in a year. My whole world was shaken up last year... and even though I can't pin down the exact moment when everything took a turn for the better, it somehow did-right before our eyes. Everything became okay, actually.. much more than okay.

The way I look at it, this family is going to bring me the most amazing closure to a chapter that started our story. A chapter that will no longer define the rest of what comes. I will be able to pay it forward and bring this family the happiness and joy I wish someone had given me during those dark days. Hopefully it will help in some small way, I think it would have helped me.


Tonight, because of that phone call earlier, I was extra emotional and couldn't help but to cry again when I was reading Anthony his bedtime books.

Every day, and especially every night during story time before bed, I practice the "more" sign with Anthony. He has been getting super frustrated lately that he can't communicate what he wants. He "hulks-out" and makes little baby fists that shoot behind him while he puffs out his chest and yells. I really want to help him express what he wants in a way that we can understand, so our therapists told us to try the "more" sign. It's an easy sign, you close your hands so that all of your fingers touch and tap the points of your fingers together a few times while saying "more".

I have been practicing this sign with Anthony so much lately, and whenever I do it he just watches. He watches as I do the sign myself, and then bring his hands together to do it too. He is such a good observer, and I know he is just soaking it all in. I know that because tonight it finally clicked- and we were able to communicate! It was so beautiful that it brought me to tears.

I was trying to feed him his bottle when he grabbed my fingers and scooted down my legs. Then he started marching towards his reading nook in his room. This little boy LOVES reading! He plopped himself down in front of his book bins and yelled at me to take out his few favorites. He sat on my lap as I read him the first one and when it was finished I signed "all done book". I waited, because this is usually when he would throw his fit by kicking and yelling to read it again. But tonight, he didn't yell, instead he grabbed my hands and brought them together to say "more". This continued after each book we read , and each time I cried. I let him read way more books than usual tonight because I wanted to see it over and over again. It was amazing!

He is so smart, and he makes me proud to be his mom every day!

I love being his Mom, his teacher, and his best friend-I hope that last one never changes :)

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